I was reminded of my brother just the other day, and then I found this writing from a few years back:
A few hours ago I looked down at my phone to see confirmation for the movie tickets I'd ordered for my daughter Ellie and I. The date catches my eye... June 19, 2015.
June 19, wow. Exactly a year ago my now ex-husband and I took Ellie to see the latest kid movie. As we came out of the theater I was oddly filled with a sense of dread and doom. Something very big was impending but I didn't know what. I couldn't shake the feeling. Scott and Ellie went to bed and I stayed up to explore what had come over me. I felt called to get a message to the man who raised me, Kurt. He had been deceased some years. It felt urgent. I called him in and began to stress to him that he go to his son (my younger brother Matthew). I had a deep knowing that Matt needed him. I pleaded that he go and stay with him. I wasn't sure why all this was coming in now, as Matt had been lost in his addiction for many years. I thought perhaps it was just divine timing at play and my brother may be ready for some revelations about his drinking. And who better guide him than his father, who had the same struggle in his earthly form? I let that be that and went to sleep.
The next morning as I pulled up to drop Ellie at summer camp the call came in. My mother was gasping for breathe on the other end. She couldn't get the words out. "Matt's dead" I blurted out. She was able to get out a yes.Read More